No, I'm not named "Brady"
I already introduced myself, so I'll get on with the business of my life.
Not much that I can say really. I've never been married. Never had any kids. Had a few jobs. Been in love. Right now I'm currently trapped in the inner circle of thought. Meaning I'm at a "fork" in the road of my life, and I'm having to decide which direction to go.
Something I wrote on April 8, the day my dad died:
This one's for you, Dad...
What can I say now that you're gone? I should've spoke those words... those three words that were in my heart each day... and yet I never did. I feel grateful that we spent time together before you went, away to that faraway land where you spent your final days. I find myself in shock, unable to feel, barely able to move. I think I have to be strong... but yet I find no strength. I can only hope somehow, now that you're gone, you can hear the words that I would say to you. The words to express what I felt for you. 31 years you were in my life, and now memories come back to haunt me. What I remember most, though, are the happy times. The times we spent together as father and son. I say all this and still I cannot believe... you're gone... forever. I think I feel you somehow... telling me to be strong, to hang on, that everything will be okay. Is that strange? It feels all right to say that. I know deep in my heart you will always be with me, as you will be with Jennifer and Cavan, Cathy and Kevin, Isabella and my Mom, Aunt Sandy and Pam, Eric, Ashley, Mike, Bryan, Greg, Tammy... as you were in life. You touched many people's lives and I'm positive they will remember you as well. And I'm sure they feel the same way I do.
I love you, Dad.
In memory... Duane Alison Gettman, Jr. 1947-2004
(Pause, catch breath, move on)
Lately I've been having a lot of nightmares about the world blowing up. Specifically, from a nuclear explosion or accident. I wonder if this has to do with any of the games I'm playing (nothing that would raise an eyebrow) or just fears I've had. At any rate, it's pretty damn scary to wake up in a cold sweat and having nobody to talk to about it.
Oh, and I can't get this song out of my head...
"Somebody to Love" by Queen
Can anybody find me somebody to love
Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)
Lord what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
Yeah
I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord somebody (somebody), ooh somebody
(Please) Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(He works hard)
Everyday (everyday) - I try and I try and I try
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm going crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Ah, got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe in
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Ooh somebody - ooh somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(Can anybody find me someone to love)
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright - he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love love love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love somebody somebody somebody somebody
Somebody find me
Somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me
Ooh - somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!
Wooo somebody find me, find me love.
Note: this song is probably copyrighted and I did NOT write it. I gave who wrote it credit so there.
I guess that's all for now. If you're reading this then maybe you want more. Maybe you don't. Stay tuned if you do. If you don't then... I don't know what to say. 