Only one person knew the real me. She's gone now, by my own fault. I drove her off. Gave her no chance to respond to my hasty admission that I was (still) in love with her. With her went my hope. I saw something online once. It was about the candles of love, faith, and hope. Or something. My faith candle burned out a lonnnnnnnnng time ago. My love candle keeps burning out and getting relit by my hope candle. The message of the site was that as long as the hope candle stayed lit, the oth...

I've just been told by my cousins that they would like me to move to Arizona. Tammy, the one who initiated this, claims that I should be close to family, and that they miss me. Brian said he'd be more than happy if I moved down. Greg said I should move down so I can see them more often. That's what my cousins said. My mom said I should seriously consider it; that Arizona is a beautiful place and that it's not TOO far from where she lives (she lives in California). My grandmother...

You could always make me laugh. That was the most important part. No matter how bad life got, no matter how tough my day had been, no matter what I was thinking, you could always make me laugh. Or at least smile. You knew me better than I knew myself. You dared to understand me, to accept me, to deal with my inconsistencies. You gave me a chance to be me, and to be happy with who I really am. You loved me, and though you were afraid, you told me how you felt. I believe(d) you, even...

Meh. I'm having a moment. Bear with me. Attitude check: not feeling too happy, why I don't know, maybe it's because I miss her, again. Who's her you ask? The one that got away. Twice. I thought we were friends but now she's just disappeared. Without saying anything. I could, but I probably shouldn't, e-mail her. It's been a few weeks since we talked. We didn't fight or anything. She mentioned her boyfriend and her got in a wreck, and that he wanted her to move with him to California. I ...

I already introduced myself, so I'll get on with the business of my life. Not much that I can say really. I've never been married. Never had any kids. Had a few jobs. Been in love. Right now I'm currently trapped in the inner circle of thought. Meaning I'm at a "fork" in the road of my life, and I'm having to decide which direction to go. Something I wrote on April 8, the day my dad died: This one's for you, Dad... What can I say now that you're gone? I should've spoke those words.....